Tired

I feel tired...tired of just about getting our head above water and then getting dunked again...tired of feeling like I'm back peddling at times...tired of trying really hard and then still feeling like I can't succeed...

We lost another part of our income last night. A cleaning account that my family has had for 20 years. They just sent a letter, telling us we're done this weekend....can they do that?! I mean, I guess they can, but really? No warning what so ever. Done. 

Call me nuts, but I almost feel like I let my family down (I know I didn't, but 20 years is a long time) The irony is, I never liked cleaning the place and then low and behold, I'm the kid that ends up owning the account as an adult. It was just that little bit to be put to savings, or the unexpected bill, or heck, maybe a date every now and then...

I know what my first response should be, God has something for us, but that's not sitting with me right now. Thank the Lord I have my Mk who constantly reminds me of that. Thank the Lord we have our health, our family, our friends, our church and a roof over our heads.

This is another chapter in our book...but it kinda sucks...

Beauty

I'm sure you've seen this going around, but isn't it so applicable to my "no make-up" challenge?!

Today is a fun day though, my friend is getting married so i get to have a cheat day and wear make-up :)

Happy weekend!

annoyed

Today I woke up annoyed...I don't know why?! And to make it worse, my hubs woke up super happy....I dislike that we can't always just be in the same mood as each other. Wouldn't that make life so much easier?! 

I feel a lot of things bubbling up in me...I feel a need for some refreshment.

My mentor was asking me the other day, what do I do to feel refreshed? How do I rejuvenate  myself. I couldn't answer :( Does any one have something they do to feel refreshed? It's a great question and I hope to figure it out soon :)

My mom comes in less than 30 days and I'm SOOOO excited! I haven't hugged my mom in almost a year :( Even when I was living in England, I was averaging more than that! 

Make-up: it's still missed in my life BUT, I've also found that I don't notice it as much. I miss mascara the most I think, but I have been able to see that I can indeed live with out it :)

My friends and co-worker are adopting!!!! I'm so excited for them :) They will be awesome parents who will teach their child to love the Lord, how much they love them, and be a great example of a couple that serves together. They are in the process of raising the funds to bring their child home (holy smokes adoption is expensive!) If you want to hear more of their story and help in some way,
stop on by and see for yourself what a great couple they are! Finding Sunday

Here's to another busy week!

Smart phone

So, I was talking with a Friend the other day about feeling really insecure about this whole make-up thing and how social media doesn't help.... You look around fb and instagram and all you see is "perfect" people and lives....(remember that whole comparing issue I have?!)

Well, part of the problem comes in, with the fact, that I'm always checking these things: right when I wake up, on the pot, in the car, etc.... am I missing out on: talks with my hubs, beauty surrounding me, phone convos with fam and friends, etc?!

So, in an effort to keep on going and finding joy and contentment in my own life, I deleted the fb app on my smart phone (see, silly smart phones aren't always a good thing. Remember the good ole' days when we didn't have apps, therefore couldn't be checking things all the time!) I'm not saying I've given it up all together, I just don't have it at my fingertips at all times...

woah, what's going on with me?! no make-up AND no fb app?!
                                        

   (yikes, scary!)

This was also a good relevant magazine

Love

This song hits hard a lot...this week it's applicable again :) 

Jesus, knows my name!? Wow! He loves me as I am, He knows me for who I REALLY am (and continues to love me any way :) ) He doesn't care what I look like. 

Lord, please allow this to sink into my heart and mind and realize that this is enough!

I'm worried about my first weekend with no make-up....I have a few events that I REALLY want to feel more put together at...but, here's to pressing on and making the most of it. Hopefully there's not a lot of mirrors around ;)

Ouch....

Yeah, um....this experience is already a bit painful. It's bringing worry and anxiousness and a little panic...Is that ok?!

Is that weird that not wearing make-up is bringing that up in me?
I look at other girls and wish I had their skin or their looks....

I have to keep telling myself to stop comparing...that is a HUGE problem for me.

Mirrors suck I've decided. I'm fine until I'm by one. Then I'm reminded and I frown...

Hopefully by the end of this, I will not even notice. I want to just be comfortable in my own skin!

Thank you Lord for my face :) For choosing for me to look the way I do. For a husband that tells me I'm beautiful no matter what.

Geeze, way to go world, making us girls CRAZY! 

Scared...

So my friend Ashly has come up with the CRAZY challenge, to go make-up free for one month...she suckered me in to it....(not really, but kinda...) 

The reason being, to discover how God and other's truly see us. Not just because we look good or are dressed a certain way or because of the (fake) confidence that make-up gives you. To search deep with why and how He loves us. To search deep with who see's our value in who we are and not just want we look like.

I'm scared...seriously, I was laying in bed last night, trying to go to sleep after an exhausting week, and all I could think about, were different things I have going on this month that I'm REALLY gonna wish I had some make-up on. 

We are allowing some cheat days; i.e. my friend is getting married so i'm allowed to wear make up to the wedding.

But still, have I really been hiding behind the goop on my face? Does it really make me feel better or even look better?

I made Mk promise to encourage me along the way, cause after all, I really just need him to find me beautiful :) 

I will hopefully remember to document my experience here but we will see what kind of emotions come out of this challenge!

And so begins, a month of searching out what TRUE beauty is!